Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We left an ass print on the piano.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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