But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
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If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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