Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
