She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
