I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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