so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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