Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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