oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
