I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
