just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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