I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
