I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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