You work out of a Hotel?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
