Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So vagazzling was a success
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