Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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