Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
