he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
