You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
COCAINE IS GR8
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
