just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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