Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
