I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize