If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
