How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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