Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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