i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
