i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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