I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
