do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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