I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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