Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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