There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
