i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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