Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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