She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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