Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
