i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
