so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We don't watch enough power rangers
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
