worst night to have a conscience
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
