I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Buhtt sex?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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