Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
