if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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