time to smoke my breakfast
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok