Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  you should have been aborted.

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  (908): we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now. (1-908): you should have been aborted. http://tfl.nu/el6q
  Replies (19) Good night (4323) Bad night (1136)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite

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  (248): remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite http://tfl.nu/a8vx
  Replies (24) Good night (3832) Bad night (747)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy

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  (412): and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy http://tfl.nu/w9ds
  Replies (3) Good night (3214) Bad night (1095)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen

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  (920): I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen http://tfl.nu/zyec
  Replies (7) Good night (3858) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.

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  (270): New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it. http://tfl.nu/its0
  Replies (10) Good night (1181) Bad night (2381)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks

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  (207): She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks http://tfl.nu/sgso
  Replies (22) Good night (5397) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs

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  (414): Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs http://tfl.nu/ace8
  Replies (3) Good night (1193) Bad night (681)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.

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  (208): Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon. http://tfl.nu/yvgl
  Replies (6) Good night (1679) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.

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  (773): Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather. http://tfl.nu/isyp
  Replies (10) Good night (1888) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"

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  (831): After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!" http://tfl.nu/os8d
  Replies (4) Good night (2827) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods

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  (206): That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods http://tfl.nu/achd
  Replies (6) Good night (3704) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  God bless Atlanta.

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  (917): Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes (610): God bless Atlanta. http://tfl.nu/oxn2
  Replies (2) Good night (1032) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Priorities

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  (203): We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades (1-203): Priorities http://tfl.nu/v803
  Replies (1) Good night (826) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.

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  (307): Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school. http://tfl.nu/nzko
  Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth

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  (425): I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth http://tfl.nu/e6vt
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (335)

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