i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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