Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

time to smoke my breakfast

Fav 13 5481 1173
share tweet
(219): View more from Indiana

she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.

Fav 11 3706 1800
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(213): View more from California

You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40

Fav 6 4298 1726
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER

Fav 7 1410 3311
share tweet
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.

Fav 4 2468 1044
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

Fav 5 2806 1042
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break

Fav 4 2089 863
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer

Fav 1 885 503
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok

Fav 4 355 472
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT