Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
