I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
