Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
