Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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