I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
