Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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