you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
