I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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