she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
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I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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