it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
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Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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