what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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