dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
