no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
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he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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