The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
