kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
should my penis look like a turkey
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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