If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
