Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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I'm determined to sit on that face.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Couch. On fire.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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