Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
