Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
