you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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