I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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