So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
