..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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