You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
