Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
