And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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